


Matrimony

by SongbirdsTune



Series: Pepper Potts Is Not Okay [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Light Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-12 00:31:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15983765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SongbirdsTune/pseuds/SongbirdsTune
Summary: Pepper Potts has a question





	Matrimony

****“Hey, Pepper?” Tony says to her. It’s Date Night. They are outside, on the terrace of that new Italian restaurant.

Pepper isn’t concentrating on the excellent wine or scrumptious food. She hasn’t even noticed the live orchestra that plays in the room behind them, nor the stars that glimmer so brightly in the night sky above them. 

No. 

Pepper Potts is deep in her own mind: Tony had nearly died the day before. A mission gone wrong – an unexpected explosion, terrible odds, and a nice little surprise ambush at the end. 

It had been all over the media (IRONMAN DEAD? And a thousand other headlines in a similar vein) and to make matters worse – JARVIS had been offline. 

There had been no contact from Tony. 

All she had was the same footage that everybody else did – the quick red flash of the Ironman, the boom of an explosion, the rapid thud of gunfire, horrified yells of the victims and then dust and smoke and silence.  

She’d been sick with fear. But she’d arranged for a doctor to be on standby for when ( _not_ if) Tony returned, prepped the medbay, started the arrangements for a clean-up crew to attend the site (she had several who were always ready to go at a moment’s notice), contacted the head of Stark Industries PR department, called Rhodey for information (none was available), glanced through the minutes of SI’s annual budget meeting (not that she read a single word), and then paced up and down, up and down, waiting for Tony to call her.  

To arrive, safe and sound, with a witty one liner. 

But the hours had dragged by. 

And there was no Tony. 

By midday, she’d thrown up twice. 

In her heart of hearts she acknowledged that if she hadn’t have sworn that oath (to always, always stand by Tony) this would have been the last straw that broke the camel’s back. 

The stress was too much – she could almost _feel_ the ulcers forming in her stomach.  

She would have been ready to throw in the towel, calling the day on a task that was increasingly impossible for her to do. 

But she’d sworn an oath. And that _meant_ something. And in that Other place, where she’d spent far, far too much time (through no fault of her own) worse things had happened. 

But the only difference was that she hadn’t loved anybody there – had never feared for a loved one’s safety and had never felt so utterly helpless. (She wanted to scream with it – the helplessness. The knowledge that whatever she did right then _it wouldn’t make a difference to Tony’s being alive or dead. It was out of her hands._ ) 

She’d stood there, waiting. Because even if she couldn’t cope, she could pretend to. 

And when eventually Tony did arrive – bruised and battered but blessedly _alive –_ she’d scolded him for missing the budget meeting. 

“Sorry about that, Pep,” Tony had said. “I was in the middle of something.” 

“So is Stark Industries. In the middle of a crisis.” 

Tony had looked up – weariness in his eyes - and his gasp was a pale echo of what it usually was. “No! Break it to me gently – are we going under? Declaring bankruptcy?” 

“Yes,” Pepper had said, keeping a keen eye on the doctor as he stitched up a nasty cut on Tony’s side. She tried not to look into Tony’s eyes too deeply. She was afraid that she would break down in tears and weep and yell at him for making her so ill with fear. 

That night, she didn’t sleep a wink; she kept on imagining what it would be like for Tony to actually die. She felt herself peering over the edge of a cliff. If she fell over, she knew, into that dark pit of grief, there would be no coming back for her. 

She was so very tired of fear. 

But she’s sworn an oath. And in that Other place, she’d learned – if you swore an oath, you kept it. Even if it slowly killed you. You toughed it out. You clenched your teeth, tilted your chin and glared your fear in the face and _dared it_  to break you. 

Pepper isn’t quite at that stage, but she is contemplating how to reach it tonight, on Date Night. So her mind is quite far away and she still hasn’t been able to look Tony quite in the eye. Her eyes seemed to skitter off to the side last night, even after the doctor had left, when she’d asked _was it bad?_ and _what can I do?_  

(She was actually asking: _Will it be worse next time?_ And _let me do something – anything – that won’t leave me feeling helpless to aid you._ ) 

 _“_ Pepper? Seriously? Are you mad at me? I feel like you’re mad at me. Is it the orchestra? Damn it. It’s the first violinist – isn't it?” 

Pepper has to shake her head a little and close her eyes for just a moment. And then, when the thoughts of that Other place are shaken off, and her eyes are prepared for meeting his, she looks at him. 

“Yes?” 

He’s looking at her, concern hidden in his gaze. 

“We okay?” he asks, in that startling direct way he can sometimes use. 

Pepper glances upwards – up at the stars – and then back to him.  

“You know something, Tony?” She leans forward, takes up his hand in both of hers. “I think we are.” 

He leans forward, brushing aside their wineglasses and dinner plates. 

“Wow, that was oddly dramatic,” his lip is twitching and he is looking at her in that old way – in the way he did before shadows and demons hounded at his heels. “But I’m glad you finally reached that conclusion. It’s only taken you, what?” A faux glance at his wrist. “All evening. You didn’t even notice the dessert.” 

“What dessert?” 

They’re so close now it’s impossible to move closer, with the table in the way. 

“Gelato. Your favourite.” 

“Tony, that’s _your_ favourite.” 

“So it is. But, you know, it’s a world-wide favourite. Must be yours too.” 

“Tony?” 

“That’s my name. I’m glad you remember it. Might have forgotten it in all that not talking you did earlier.” 

“It’s called thinking.” 

“It’s called ignoring me. Thanks, by the way.” 

“Let’s get married.”  

He draws back a little, she draws back a little. As if she’s dropped a bomb in-between them, right onto the tablecloth. 

She looks at him and finds herself not regretting the question at all. She’d sworn to always be by his side, after all. And if she’s going to look fear in the face and dare it to break her, she’s going to do it properly. 

But those kind of thoughts are quickly lost because Tony has a smile tugging at his lips. It starts slowly (hesitantly, like he can’t believe what she’s asking) growing larger until it’s just she and him (the man she loves more than anything or anyone on this earth and beyond) and happiness glimmering between them. 

“Why, Miss Potts,” he says. “I thought you’d never ask.” 

Happy has a ring – has been keeping it for Tony since 2008, it turns out. The wedding is small – quick, but not hurried. And Pepper thinks of that Other place and is – for the first time – grateful for being sent there. It takes bravery to love, and courage to hold on to someone. To be steadfast. And that Other place has given her perspective – given her confidence in that if she survived _there,_ she can thrive here.  

(She hasn’t recovered from what’s happened – perhaps she never will – but just because she’s scarred doesn’t mean that she’s broken.) 

(But if she is broken, maybe Tony is a tiny bit broken too. And maybe – just maybe – they can be just a little bit broken together. And who knows – maybe become whole? Together?) 

**Author's Note:**

> if all the tenses are mixed up - oops, my bad, it's late but i wanted to post this. BECAUSE I COULD and also because ... just because.


End file.
